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I Gotta Post Something...

mclark

176 posts

Joined
1/27/2006

I Gotta Post Something...
Posted: 27 Jun 08 1:45 AM

I might be the proprietor here, but compared to most of the rest of you I don't seem to spend any time on the site. I am constantly being run through one wringer or another, it seems.

My sister, who loves sending piles of questionable inspirational stories (along with actual family news sometimes), has sent me the following. I normally glance briefly at her stuff, cringe, and close it without further interest, but I thought this was pretty good. This was not written by me. For a start, I'm not 60, yet.

Drafting Guys Over 60

New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Service Vets over 60 years old.

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:

    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts ! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some idiot that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18 -year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b____.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

   Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the 'New army' now, 'Get down and give me ... ER ... one.'

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

    If nothing else, put us on border patrol ... we will have it secured the first night !

    If you want to, share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

z665almostevil

1039 posts

Joined
4/10/2007

Re: I Gotta Post Something...
Posted: 27 Jun 08 11:26 AM

[QUOTE]mclark wrote

Drafting Guys Over 60

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

DavidS

988 posts

www.novelier.com